Heart Under Attack

When once the barren world inside me blossomed

In the presence of your tendering smile;

The long stored handful of love and care with effortless battle

Was my helpless heart seized unasked.

The day you held me first in your arms

Was my heart all brimmed with hope and joy;

But the day you just walked away

Was also the day where my hope and love only multiplied.

What was then and what the next is

Has never flowed in to the channel of my frozen memory;

For the dates of those unattended calendar

Have never been able to measure my hidden gloom.

Happy would I be if I be chanced

To behold your beauty once a day through the heart of my prison cell

But, enow has my heart fallen victim of every hour,

For what I enjoyed most with least contended.

From which time did I feel all alone

Would be unknown to the moving hands of a clock;

And until when shall my heart remain all aloof

Would still be uncertain to the clairvoyance of any superbeing…

 

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A Letter

Dear,

If there is anything in this world that I can offer you, it will be my bonny

arms my dear friend. If it is just a case of distance not making our hearts

to grow fonder, love is in the distance, yet I know not of distance nor

know I of any love but my only heart ache along with every thought that

flutters in my withering soul.

It has been so long that we haven’t had any exchange of word or glimpse

and so is my anguished grief. Every time in my broken sleep I see you and

every time I wake up I long to see you, and, oftentimes the day becomes t

he night. The day you left me was the day I left myself. The sun has set at

noon and the night has fallen before dusk.

If I ever were empowered to customize the passing hour of the time and

if vicious wrinkles only refrain from stealing the beauty from my pallid face,

I at this very hour would not pour forth my long pent up emotions in

torrents of sobs and cries. 

Fifteen years back, I knew not of how I would complete next five years 

of my study and another five years of higher studies.

Seconds passed in to a minute, minutes in to an hour, hours passed

in to a day and days in to a week, weeks passed in to a month and

months turned in to year.  In retrospect now it’s just like flashes of lightning

which disappears ere we can say ‘it lightens’. It has come to an abrupt end

and those ten years is only like a second passed now.  I sometimes climb

on the rock and await your coming, I clear my drowsy eyes to see if you are

approaching and I raise my head to welcome you but sadly it wouldn’t be

you my dear friend. How and in what length shall I explain to you, my agony

in your absence, when even the Plains of India fractures under the

piles of my grief?

When I walk my shadow walks too. When I halt my shadow stops too and

wherever I go it follows me. Is your soul carried by my shadow? But the

shadow disappears in darkness, in the darkness of your absence.

My ears listen to one hundred thousand sounds by day but none would

enthrall my soul, my soul seeks one hundred ways to be happy yet

happiness would not seek my soul. Fly not far my dear friend or else

poor soul has no place to lay his faith and like your fellow butterflies stay

awhile, look back and befriend me your friend who has got no wings.

Your forever friend

Mr. Frog

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Unexpected

Beseech you, stay awhile;

Ye shimmering moon over floating cloud banks;

Befriend me upon thy passionate beams;

And make me a child once again just for tonight.

Bechance me hold thy hallowed visit;

Forgive though I behooves not good hostess;

With all my heart here lay I my faithful hand;

Un to the worthy words of my loyal speech.

If foretold and prophesied what would befall me;

Pallid lips of separation could have been withheld;

Sooner am I obliged but to hear foot falls of my beloved;

Fading in to unknown distance at the break of day.

Behold her how like a corpse shrouded in waxen raiment;

Lay on her bed and droplets escaping her eyes asleep;

Here by this window fall I to unfold my anguish in to night at times;

And often times to cherish the last glance of her beauteous face.

What would yield to my anguished grief but torturous surge;

For fantasy far removed from prison cell of your absence;

What would alas, but comfort my unspent passion;

For missing will be the soft and tender love of my beloved forever.

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Love at First Sight

Dimly were the lamps lit across the lawn;

Beauties of unknown faces stole my sight;

Of what joy and thrust I had, have no answer;

When my untamed tongue thus said “hi, are u not …”

Of what sudden and of what duration will our time last,

Methinks of the shackles stop the hour hands,

Or will the god bless me with one more min,

For I’ll but let her know of what my longing eyes bespeak.

Lively and wondrous were you smiling from my left;

Melody of unheard voice yet enthralled my ears;

Was I then more cautious of anything unworthy I pronounced;

Or of what position must I humbly attend your marvelous mistress.

Would I be wronged to forsake your smiles for a fairer love?

Am I at flirt to convert your gentle voice a loving kindness?

Did u not see my helpless eyes asking you something forgiving?

For my heart truly had surrendered at the glistening of your eyes.

Unease was I oftentimes whilst we exchanged newer words;

Sometimes did I withdraw of my focused sight from her;

And when in to some unknown directions did I look;

Was the moment when I lost my dearer lady amidst the crowd.

Will I not have but one more chance to behold your amorous beauty?

Or have I grabbed un to any illegal opportunity there withal?

To what silence had my heart resorted in very absence of you?

And of what grief does my ailing heart long every minute?

Are all answerless questions wavering across me like to the flags in the mighty storm.

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At War...

I could from those rattling windows discern the yellow autumn leaves falling down on a low ground; the sun with his sorrow had rendered the western horizon crimson red, and those tremulous doe eyes ebbed with unshed tears.      She never once looked straight in to my eyes; perchance that is the most difficult part at hand. Our only daughter crawled about her loving father who is yet to disappear forever.

The passion in our hearts had gone wild and released the words of loving kindness, but our tongues weighed hundred pounds which otherwise would constantly prate for hours and without reasons.  A glass of water which at that very hour was halfway arrested at my lips seemed dry, chocking my throat and would need another glass of water to flush it down.

“Oh my love, don’t be saddened, for your loving kindness has bestowed me with miraculous potentials to blow the enemies at war” was when I broke the quietness.  She turned away her face from me and silence was all her answer.

At the very moment, from a distant hillside roared my dangerous companions, holding banners high in the sky proclaiming lives, and sand dusts blowing up like the dark smoke of a wildfire, shouting, howling and screaming at the top of their voices.

My beloved flounced away and hurried to her altar, with her shivering hands lit a butter lamp therein.

Then she turned back, with hot flushes of emotions, threw her longing hands round my neck and whispered  in to the hollow of my fearful ears with incessant cries and sobs;

“Oh dear! Will you leave me all alone? Oh beloved! Will you not speak me a word? Alas! What untimely has this insolent and thirsty fate wrought my heart to its very bottom? How can I now define my life but in absence of my love? People say that they need their beloveds when they are in need, they say they need them when they feel lonely and to make their livings but I must say that I need you when you are not with me.”     That is the very hour when my powerful eyes simply didn’t have any control over the torrential flow of my tears.  

Within no time were my fellow mates awaiting my coming at our solitary garden below our silhouette. And it was only when her warm hands left my cold bosom that my pale face could no longer hold back its true expressions and my heart broke in to hundred pieces but how would I ever disclose it, how?

She escorted me to my battle mates and straight away I myself became one of them. She didn’t have any word to say save prayers in her heart for I myself was speechless. The moment I hugged our daughter and kissed the lonely lips of my beloved is the moment when my mates pulled me on to a horse and galloped away in to the malicious forest.

I cleared my eyes, looked back and could see her left hand holding our daughter, her right hand was pressed against her heart, she wasn’t at ease, was yelping, saying something quite vivid but I was far away in to the dusts to comprehend her words, hence I vanished in to the wilderness.


............................................................................................................................................................................................................

After seven years we hoisted our flags of victory at the battlefield and then, with all my hopes and joys rekindled, turned my happy face homeward. “O dear! How much have I missed you? In your absence, I was simply like a plant striving to thrive in the desert, and like a destitute flower longing for its love messenger, the wasp. Come my love come, I am back to you, I would now no longer be able to bear your absence. Come, come close to my heart for I will never be away anymore” was all that clung to my joyous heart as I drove back.

Yester eve I safely reached my garden and prepared myself of my face and hands to hold my beloved. And I walked forward smiling, walked forward and walked forward until I beheld my only daughter nestled in the crossed arms of her tearful cousin and myself standing on a sorrowful grave like a doe who has lost its mother.

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Momentary

Hark!  Hark!     With my unsubstantial body twisted westward,

Balanced heavily betwixt those two bonny toes halfway arrested in the space;

The dusty palm adding to the lope of the curious ears hanging from the bewildered head;

O Nightingale; is it you that sooth my breath, or is it an empty tiger sending its unbearable message?

I will heed but not to all these baseless distractions;

For it will conquer my peace which otherwise prevails in my beauteous domain;

Neither certain whence the sound bloweth from nor the source therefore trumpeth forth;

Or my own spirit did scare me with his jests lest I walk lost in thoughts; I attend not.

The shimmering moon bestrides the floating clouds of the eastern hills;

The torrential brook wailed its song through the tiny narrow ravine;

The gentle south-western breeze caresses through the hanging cypress leaves;

And I, bestowed with the streaking moonlight under the cypress, walk alone.

Give me a lute, or lyre, or anything, anything will do;

For passion in my heart burns with hunger, like unreasonable cries of a child;

Do ebb my tremulous eyes; thrill, quivering all my body, awaking every hair like a reed;

Shuddered those feeble shoulders and shiver hath plagued restless feet.

Not in hundred thousand years would have the nature blessed this earth with her sheer tranquility;

Not in this whole world, has one sucked the sweet honey from warm bosom of the Mother Nature;

Nor in my entire lifetime, would have the gods misunderstood me for a lord;

For I am unreasonably advantaged, enrapturing my heart in boundless ecstasy of nature.

In such moments of enlightened self, how dare my foot torture a blade of leaf?

Or wonder of what thoughts shall I think, and of what pace I breathe the air around me;

Had I the power to kiss the moonlight and hug the gentle breeze blowing against my breast;

Therefore do I merrily open my arms to the world and walk forward in an uncertain direction.

But oh! What light breaks through yonder space, augmentation does it to moonlit earth;

Does my eyesight fail me tonight, reverie even as I walk? Perhaps nay, my spirit awake;

My furrowed forehead projecting forward, brows raised quite above it normal horizon;

Was I stationed there simply helpless trying to regain my lost consciousness.

Shame be most beauteous blossom of all on the earth for it lies but beneath her mark;

Even now burning candle her adorned hand holds droops in reverence for her angelic face lightens brighter;

Had I in school days but learned to encounter in true hours of such beauties;

But alas, beyond imagination did I not realize to prove myself a mad wooer.

Comes forth? Oh nerves, my heart, fail me not for thou fail forever if thou canst not prove thyself here;

Clear me my clouded eyes, if she be my form likewise angelic or demon in human form;

Oh, blasphemy! Cursed be my tongue for thus uttering the last;

Still! Still! She raises her light, what fortune had spring sown for unproved man like me?

She

Anybody else there?

Me

 A…ay …Aye me, wa.. lking for ……

She

Come hither, for moonlight canst not let me acknowledge anyone distant.




When she said this:

My nerves which at the battlefield would stand any unknown danger now tinge and shiver;

Hurried heart beats, with bated breath and in whispering humbleness I sang to her;

I beseech you beauteous lady, for thou in my esteem, an object of veneration;

Pardon me, if my meagre form ever offends your eyesight or husky unfaithful voice deafens your ear;

Be not perplexed though, for I too am startled with what beauty my unbridled eyes are lain upon;

And be not afraid, my words too fast unknown, my heart too unprepared known to hold them back.

She

Beauty is but a form of wax, which even does not belong to so called me;

The fearful time though drunk with flatter or asleep, at his whim takes it away unasked;

Tonight, night of all nights does my heart surge with tenderness, thence lay unarmed;

Bethink not too fast or too easy blown, else karmic residue has ripened where two strangers now stand.

Me

Oh Triple Gem! Blessed be those two, for blessed is their invisible connection;

Generous Dhakini, clear off any untoward occurrence envious hidden the path we trade;

Oh holy lama, preach us thy thoughts, for this world be covered with thy compassion;

And fair lady; attend closely to the words of your moved stranger.

                                      Behold me O wondrous’

             No entice nor baseless pleasure do I bespeak lair;

                                  But with a fair ostent of love;

                    With my happy hands crown thee here.

                         Words my heart long to pronounce;

                                Intoxicates me if left untold;

                          Told not attended or denounced;

                            Whirl in to the abyss my heart.

          Flower that blossometh gentle feelings afore my eyes;

                          Shower me with your everlasting rays;

                                  Beyond earth and sky;

                       Is the incessant love I bear for thee.

                      Of worldly possessions I bid farewell;

              Am I now set forth even death conspires me;

             For no unattained hopes will my spirit suffer;

                            And buried will I lay withal.

                                Whence come you?

                         Wherefore art thou here?

              What name should I thus call you by?

     Or oh! Will your kindness extend thy arms?

She

Here is my hand;

Hold it for it belongs to thee forever;

Mindu Gyalmo am I known to the world;

Whatever thou callest will sweeten my ear.

Guest am I and my only father here;

For you canst descry burning hearth of my host ahead;

Golden ring my deceased mother at her death bed adorned my finger;

Slid away from my undeserving hand and I walk for its recovery now.

Me

Oh! Let me be thy fellow mate at search, for thy will, mine too;

From miles hath the waves driven thee thither;

It is then my will; I intent to attend at your mistress’s command;

Free are thee to set me at any will at thy whim.

Mindu Gyalmo

Nay, I beseech thee, for the ring is gone, let it be;

On account of the ring have I found a more beauteous ring;

Thou art timeless yet everlasting ring of my heart;

Wilt thou be but consistent with thy own thoughts?

Me

Invisible is the shores of the mighty ocean;

Immeasurable is the depth of the Pacific;

Uncountable is the stars in the open sky;

And boundless is my love for you, O wonder!

Aye! Aye! Let me hold thee close to my heart;

Prove wilt I to thee of myself invariable;

Unlike to the moon which itself cease of its next form;

Worthiness shall my heart hold unto thee henceforth.

Mindu gyalmo

Alas! Will no one still cover the night with shade?

Oh dimming moon! Stay awhile, for my words seldom visits you;

Envious summits of the eastern hills, be not brightened;

My lonely heart has to drive miles away at the daybreak.

Oh beloved! What warmth shall your bosom warm my cheek?

I canst feel your heart beat for it sets mine too in tune;

Even now can I hear it whispering in to my empty ears;

I am afraid for my heart will long for it every second of the hour.

(Thunder claps and Lightning)

Me

What mishap conspires against our truly beheld moment?

Let me hold thee close for nothing ill can betray our hours;

O! What air hath rendered your piteous hand icy cold?

For now will my balmier lips warm thy little fingers.

(Thunder) 

Close to my heart, close…

 At that very moment, I flew my blankets over my legs and woke up to see myself but in my friend’s bedroom for whisky had numbed my senses last eve. The alarm was constantly ringing at the clock and would not cease. Like a furious cat I pounced on it and raised it high above my head so that I can crush it in to hundred pieces but… What? ‘I will hold thee close to my heart’!       “Oh clock! I remember”. I then gently lowered it, looked at all four sides and pressed softly against my heart.

I drew the curtains apart, the twilight bade me farewell and the eastern horizon appeared clearer, but everything was still and quite. My companion who was lying on the floor was at his snores. Then I pulled back my blankets but those words bore me countless repetitions but I once again covered my head to dream again.

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love to me......

If somebody ask me why do u love her? 
my love doesnt have any reason. because if someone has reason to love somebody then the love might exist so long the reason lives...   let her go blind or let the scar spot her face  i will love her, let her wealth get burnt down to ashes, love me or not, do whatever she likes i will still love her because my love doesnt have reason.......love is eternal, its beyond words and actions, nothing can understand, only the heart of the lover alone feels.......

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